Listening

Today I spent an hour deleting music.

My itunes went from 3146 songs down to 1976.

About five months ago I cut non-Christian music out of my life. I'll admit there was a day in the teenage years where I listened to a lot of hateful music, from rap to rock and everything in between. I claimed that it was the music I loved not the morals and that I knew my values enough to not let it change me.

But here's the thing. I do love music; I always have a song in my head. Whatever tune I have heard last circulates in my head until another tune replaces it. Instead of focusing on positive things all day, I had bad music and language circulating in my head all day.

I used to struggle with sleeping a lot. To the point where I was medicated for a year so that I could shut my mind off. One worship night at church God brought me to the story of Samuel. God awoke him three times while he was sleeping.

The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

  Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” 

God's voice simply asked 'what if I intend to wake you because I have something to tell you and those drugs keep you from hearing my voice?'

When I went off my sleeping pills, after the withdrawal I found the only way I could sleep was to listen to praise & worship before bed. As I cut out non-Christian music, I noticed that the days I listened to non-Christian music were the nights I couldn't sleep. Guaranteed, if I willingly turned on some bad music, I wouldn't sleep that night.

I used to say that I didn't really like praise & worship music, that it all sounded the same. But God opened my heart as I focused on the words I truly began to enjoy praise & worship music more and more. God slowly wrote the soundtrack to my life. He started to speak to me through the songs I listened to. He strengthens me through the truths in these songs. Now when I go to work every day I have a worship song in the back of my head. I crave my time in the car alone where I belt out praises to my Savior and lift my hands not caring who sees me. I'm so thankful for my workplace where we listen to Christian music the majority of the time.

I don't know why I kept all that non-Christian music for so long. Maybe I thought someday I would listen to it again? Maybe the good Mennonite wife in me couldn't stand to delete so much money's worth of music. It did sadden me quite a bit that I invested so much money in something that brought no glory to my Savior. What a waste. As I deleted I found myself embarrassed by some of the titles, had I really filled my mind with this filth. I'll also admit I had a hard time letting go of some of it.

Father forgive me.

See here's the thing. Not all this music was bad. Though I admit some of it was pretty bad. Some of it was just fun pop songs about being happy and living a positive life. Some of it could even be viewed as uplifiting by the worlds' standards.

See here's the thing, the Bible says this:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

and this:

I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

and this:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.  1 Corinthians 6:19

and this:

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1

and this:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

 So I guess I could convince myself that the music I was listening to was "OK" but now I see that if it doesn't exalt the King of Kings then what is the point. I believe that everything we do, we can do purposely for the kingdom. From the music we listen too, movies we watch, how we speak, where we spend our time, which friendships we choose. It can all be for HIS glory. So why wouldn't I want to make this small sacrifice of music, when HE gave himself for me. HE died that I might have life. It's embarrassing to think that I wasn't willing to give up some music. And again I find myself saying

Father forgive me.

Being a Christian means daily trying to be more like Christ. It doesn't mean I don't mess up, because I do every day. But it means that every day I rely on Him and do my best to live as He did. To speak as He did, to listen to what He would have listened to, to watch what He would watch, to spend my time as He did. And I'm so thankful that He has promised me if I live my life for Him I will have a life filled with His peace, with great joy and full of His overflowing love. I'll make the sacrifice for that.