Life Lately

I apologize that the blog has been super quiet lately. I've been reading a lot instead of blogging, which is a good change every once in a while.

Last night I spoke to a group of youth, I've just become a youth sponsor and really want to be able to allow God to use me in whatever way in the lives of these kids. I've been learning so much about being thankful (mainly through Ann Voskamp's book "one thousand gifts" which is life changing) so I decided to share about thankfulness.

I actually felt like it went really well. They laughed and didn't look super bored the whole time, they also didn't whisper to their friends, which is my biggest fear when talking to kids. Satan really didn't want me to go (really bad migraine) but I put speaking at a priority and went home early from work to rest up. I'm thankful I did that because I really felt like I needed to be there and to share with these kids. I also got some key time to connect with some of the youth which is really valuable to me. I really pray that they got the message and that God will use His Word to stretch them to be more like him.

God has been working lots of miracles around me lately. And my eyes have been open to see them which is the best part. I'm so thankful that my health has finally taken a turn for the better. And my job is also heading in a direction where I can handle it better. These were two huge trials in my life and I'm thankful that God promises to never leave us even in the hardest times.

I have a CT scan next Thursday if those who read this blog could pray. It is just to confirm that my migraines are caused my anxiety not a tumour. I am at peace, usually I would be freaking out and losing sleep, but God is giving me peace that it is all in His plan and I trust Him in that. I won't find out anything right away but that is okay, somehow I'm not worried about anything.

My husband has exams next week, which means I haven't seen him for the last two. He is buried up to his ears in text books. You could pray for him to have wisdom and peace as well. We planned a one night get away next Saturday after his last exam. I'm pretty excited to have him all to myself without any distractions for a little bit.

I'm going to leave you all with a little bit of my talk on thanksgiving.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

...Mary gives us a perfect example of living a life of gratitude.

Put yourself in Mary’s shoes. You are thirteen years old and you’ve just found out you are pregnant. What would your gut reaction be? What are your parents going to say? Your finance is definitely going to leave you because you have never touched each other. This isn’t 2011, there is no emergency clinic, and there is no adoption option. Add on top of all that, some angel just told you that your son is the Messiah. The long awaited Messiah is growing in your stomach. No pressure or anything. Would you yell at God, scream that He chose you to make this sacrifice. You have to give up everything because He thought you worthy to carry His son. There must be some mistake. But how did Mary respond? 

 “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name.” Luke 1:46-49

And then she goes on to list all the things God has done for her and her people. Wow. Now that is a life of gratitude. Amidst all of the worry and crazy thoughts in Mary’s head, which were there because she was human, she chose to thank the Lord and rejoice in him.

Jesus also gave us the ideal example of how we are to respond to hardship in our life. At the last supper, before Jesus was to be betrayed and crucified he shared bread and wine with his followers.

“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19

He gave thanks for that which symbolized his body breaking at the cross and his blood being poured out. How do you give thanks at a time like that? How do you not question God’s wisdom and run wild in the opposite direction?

Jesus knew something that is so important for us, his followers to learn. The hard things in life, the things that cause our bodies to break and our blood to pour out, those are the things we are to be thankful about. Those are the times where we must practice the habit of living a life of gratitude and acknowledging the good of Gods plan not our own. Being truly thankful doesn’t mean just thanking God when it’s easy and when there is a lot to thank Him for, it is thanking Him when He has taken it all away and left us with nothing. This is true gratitude.

I also want to tell you guys how God started to teach me about how to be truly grateful in all things. It happened in Africa, where most of my large God realizations have happened as of late. We got a new baby in the orphanage. Her name was Peace and she was sick. Aids ravaged through her body as she was fighting pneumonia. She was dying. This beautiful nine month old girl was dying. I began to spend all my time with her. She barely ate so I would fight for hours to get her to take back even the littlest bit of formula. I knew that this precious baby had to be bathed in prayer and so as I held her I would pray, I would cry, I would just repeat Jesus’ name and when I found I didn’t know what to pray anymore I would just thank God for things. 

Thanks God for her eyelashes, thanks God for her beautiful fingernails, thanks God that I have the opportunity to love her, thanks God that she kept down an ounce of formula today, thanks God that her poop was a little less yellow and a little greener. I literally thanked God for poop, Africa and dying babies does weird things to you. I began to bathe her in praises to God. I remember when the nurse came up and told us, you know sometimes you just lose some, it is better to let go. I thank you God that we are going to prove this nurse wrong. I thank you God that Peace is going to beat this round of pneumonia, which she did. I thank you God that Peace is going to gain weight, which she did. I thank you God that Peace is going to smile, which she did. I came home. Peace was doing great, my friend Ashley had taken her as her daughter and she was getting fat and healthy and being a normal baby. 

A couple months later I got a message to pray urgently as Peace had taken a turn for the worse. I emailed everyone I knew to get them all praying. I was certain God would heal this precious girl another time.

I remember when I got the news that Peace had died, that precious baby girl had gone to be with Jesus. I remember sitting on my bed crying after I got the news. And I was about to start asking God the whys, you know why does He allow suffering, why does He allow poverty, the list goes on. 

But instead in that moment I couldn't ask God the whys instead I just began to thank him. I thank you God that she impacted my life. I thank you God that she died in a loving family. I thank you God that she is no longer in pain. I thank you God that she had given me a passion for the AIDS crisis. It was a habit. That I would thank him no matter what. Because His will is always perfect.