Introducing Trevor

For those of you who haven't heard me brag about my precious little boy Trevor here's the story. This little boy has truly transformed my life.

p.s.: this might turn into a bit of a brag post 

The volunteers came in and told me that there was a new boy in Baby B. That he was adorable but seemed so sad. I went to see him, and as I sat on the ground and held him, my heart went out to this precious boy. My heart broke for all my children, I prayed that each one would get a family and lived a full life. But with this boy it was so different. It took a lot of strength every day to put him down and play with the other kids. I didn't want to be unfair so I tried to spend my free time cuddling and loving my precious Trev. Trevor was soon moved down to Baby A as the nurse decided he needed the nutrients of formula and a little more attention. I was so excited that this baby boy was now part of my responsibility and that I could love on him every day!

I began to pray for this precious boy every time I held him. He truly taught me how to completely rely on God. Sometimes I look back and think it's so strange that God used this little boy to teach me that I can do absolutely nothing without His strength.

Every morning and evening I would feed Trevor. I would slowly feed him his formula, if it went down too fast, he would throw it all up. Then after I slowly got him to eat all his formula, I would try to feed him his baby food. This is when it got tough. If Trevor didn't want to eat, he didn't. (stubborn little kid!) It drove me up the wall and back again because he needed to eat so badly. I wanted him to fatten up! If you tried to make Trevor eat, he would throw up. I remember one night I had been feeding him for over an hour and he threw everything up. I didn't want the mamas to see how much this bothered me so I quickly took him and gave him a bath. Then I took him to my room and held him as I cried. I cried out to the Lord asking him what I was doing wrong that this baby wouldn't eat. In that moment Trevor grabbed my face and wiped his hand across my cheek. My precious baby Trevor had wiped away my tears. In the moment the Lord spoke to me and said that He would take care of that child but there was nothing I could do in my strength. I began to pray the entire time I fed Trevor. I slowly learned that he would eat in spurts. I would feed him his baby food over the course of an hour. I would feed him till he was done, play with him for a bit, then feed him some more. He got the hang of it and soon began to eat more than all of the other kids.

Trevor loved to dance. When he first got to Amani, Trevor never smiled. I began to pray every day that he would smile. But whenever you turned on a tune Trevor was start to rock his head to the rhythm of the beat. Even though he didn't smile you could tell he was happy, dancing away to whatever tune was on in the background.

Trevor got healthier and healthier and I fell deeper into love with him. He learned to play by himself and I continued to pray that he would smile. I prayed and prayed whether this baby boy would be mine and I kept feeling like I was supposed to be a part of his life but I was not supposed to be his mother. I didn't understand but I trusted God. I loved this precious boy with my entire heart and it would have been easy to take him as my son. But I wanted to listen to God's plan, not mine. God had proven himself by bringing this boy back to health, and God had clearly shown me that there was nothing I could do of my own will.

I remember the day Trevor first smiled! My precious boy had finally smiled! I held him and wept and wept. God had answered my prayers.

I left Trevor and came home. I got married but still felt like something was missing. I spent many nights weeping, missing my precious Trevor, wanting to hold him and kiss him. I wanted to be there with him. I would wake up in a panic that He was hurting or sick and there was no one to take care of him. God continued to remind me that He loved Trevor before I came into his life and He would take care of him after. I truly had to give it up to God. More than anything I wanted to fly back to Africa and take him into my arms. I prayed that God would open doors so that I could stay a part of Trevors life. If Trevor could not be my son, I wanted to know that he was okay and that he was loved. I had one night where I barely slept and just spent the night in prayer, giving Trevor over to God and trusting Him with his future.

The next day my friend from Africa sent me an email. Megan and Kelsey were starting a sponsorship program so that kids who had families who loved them but couldn't afford them, could be sponsered by a North American families and could go home. Meg emailed me and said that Trevor was up for sponsorship, would I be willing? Tears came to my eyes as I read this email. God had answered my prayers I would be able to be a part of Trevors life, not his mother but I would always know how he was doing and whether he was well. Whether he went to school and how he was growing up. What an answer to prayer!

Today Trevor went home with his grandmother and grandfather, he also has uncles living in the home. He will be loved and well taken care of. I will provide the funds necessary so that he can start school and eat well. I can hardly believe how God has so directly given me the desire of my heart.

(if you want to hear more about this amazing sponsership program check it out at Obukuumi Sponsorship Program)

Now here comes the brag part. Here are the beautiful pictures of my precious little Trevor who still holds a huge part of my heart!

This is Trevor when we first got him. He would always cry. But not an annoying loud cry, this sad whine that would break your heart in two. This precious boy would just whine to get any attention possible.

Needless to say that cry broke my heart in two. I couldn't help but to hold him and love him whenever possible so that he wouldn't be sad.

Every morning when I woke up early I would go grab him before me volunteer shift started and cuddle with him in our room while I ate breakfast and chatted with my family. I proudly showed off this previous boy who had stolen my heart.

One night I was so frustrated that Trev wouldn't eat that I just gave him the baby food. Sure enough he happily fed himself as I sat and laughed.

He didn't like his crib so he tended to sleep on my chest.

His feet were always cold so I dug deep and found him some socks (most kids don't wear socks in Africa) they did the job.

I really wanted him to crawl so I would set him down and set a cracker out of his reach, he never quite caught on while I was there but probably because I would still give him the cracker. I couldn't say no to that cute face!

That's the smile that I'm so thankful that I was able to witness while I was still there! Praise God for that precious little grin.